Are you waiting for life to start?
It was after midnight.
By all accounts I should have been asleep, but as I glanced down at my notebook, I took a deep breath and kept on typing.
The list of tasks I had drawn up just that morning was riddled with crossed out items, but even so I knew my day’s work wasn’t done.
A now-cold coffee sat to one side and a packet of tablets on the other.
Hidden under some papers was a half-eaten block of chocolate I’d been using to reward myself as I worked through my list.
I had a headache, I was exhausted and I felt like crying.
I couldn’t remember the last time I had taken a weekend off. ‘Play’ was a word that I associated with people with fewer responsibilities and more time.
It was funny how I got here.
After years of burning the candle at both ends at my corporate job, ironically I found myself in the same place as I tried to bring my dream of a business alive.
As a certified health coach, I knew at the core of my being that I needed to look after myself; in fact, it was the singlemost important thing I advocated to my clients.
But somehow, I couldn’t muster the motivation to do the things I knew would make me feel better.
I was uninspired to cook, relying on the next quick fix to get me through the day.
I hated looking at myself in the mirror because I felt bloated and unattractive. I spent my time worrying, even when I wasn’t working.
Friends and family alike were neglected because I just didn’t have the energy to deal with the outside world.
Working on my business felt forced, overwhelming, reluctant.
And it showed. I wondered whether I should just give up and get a job.
And so with all of this I dragged myself through life with the feeling I was on the edge.
Looking at something far away. Out of my reach. Waiting – for something. Something to give me permission to start truly living.
It was at this point, somewhere in the darkest hours of the night that I realised I had it all wrong.
I had been living from a place of despair, of pressure and expectations of what life was meant to be like.
I thought I had to work the same way I did before, because that was how success was born.
No-pain-no-gain was the mantra I repeated day after day in the pursuit of my perfect life.
I ignored the voice inside me that protested against the constant neglect of my body and spirit and kept pushing towards the idea of perfection in my mind.
And so, I decided to try something different.
I figured I had nothing to lose. It couldn’t get any worse.
I decided to start living from a place of truth. From love and acceptance. Towards freedom.
What did that look like, you ask?
Living from a place of true connection with myself meant long, leisurely showers. I
t meant dressing up in gorgeous clothes and taking the time to feel beautiful. It was reconnecting with my husband. Playing with my little boy.
It meant stillness and pause, meditation and yoga.
I read books (my first love) for the first time in a long time.
I became inspired to cook and rediscovered enjoyment of my time in the kitchen.
And through this, I was more motivated with my work. I was productive and inspired. I had more time to relax and live the life I’d been dreaming, the life at the heart of why I was even attempting to start a business in the first place.
I know the all-familiar feeling of thinking it will be different when you’ve lost those last five kilos, gotten through that to-do list, made more money, found the right person.
I know the feeling of thinking that if you just get there (wherever there is), then the life you were meant to have will fall into place.
But here’s the truth.
To bring your best to the world, to be the best you can be – to inspire, empower, educate those that you live for passionately – to feel alive – you must stop waiting and start living.
So my challenge to you is this… What have you been waiting to do but thought you had to have the time or money or body you desired to start?
Write them down and start doing them. Wear that dress. Go on that holiday. Cook something amazing.
Get out there and kick ass in your business (Do that video you have been holding off on doing! Do it!)
You are awesome just as you are.
I believe that little changes can lead to out-of-this-world transformation.
And by consciously focusing on these small decisions every single day, one day I promise you will wake up and realise – yup – this is the life I was dreaming of.
Life is now. Press Play.